Pilgrim's Heart

      

    This is what i described about my heart today. Part of it is never home. There is always stretching and yearning to be home but I know that I am not yet arrived. I am actually now in a journey. For quite sometime, I never acknowledged that I am in a journey, I was trapped by false places that was never my home. Yet, God's grace shown me something to focus with and to believe that I am now in a journey far away from Home.

     In my journey home,  I was able to recognize whose friends were true and bogus in my winging homeward. It is in my journey of my spirituality that made my road like markers to say Hello to some and goodbye to some by passers. Funny it is, I could still smile at them and even embrace them with the goodbyes in my heart. It makes a little easier to do so because I go through the pain of acceptance that creates experiences of more hope groaning and yearning in a natural way.

     The journey inside my heart is actually a mystery and a challenge because traveling inward is so different, I can only see my path in the eyes of my faith. And the shallow my faith becomes the vague and darker my way be.

     I am excited to further see myself of what I can be and to discover what I am capable of. Like exploring a mountain trail that one has never been before, there would be huffing and puffing and a pause to take another path or to turn around and go back. But, I will stand still. I know i am not alone in my journey. Someone out there is praying for me, loving me and looking at that vast mountain where I am standing. Hoping and excited to see me around.

    Nowadays, My heart is actually filled with many trails either too ordinary or too hard or too long to continue. But I know beyond that edge and just when I go around the next bend and up to the hill. There lies a magnificent vista of beauty marking my heart, I am home. 

   Hoping to see you around there... God bless.

   Mhatteo

Galilee

   

    You might be wondering what Galilee is all about. For many who knows the bible it is an important place of Jesus. It is a place in Israel. A significant place where He made many significant miracles...and true enough, i have my own Galilee experience of Christ in me. Miracles I claimed His.

     Most of my pains and sufferings were brought about by my wrong choices. It is in those times where I discovered the tremendous deadness of my spirit. But God has a way of changing people. From my wickedness He changed me. He broke me into pieces so I could one by one pick up my shattered pieces and learned deeply of life's choices. 

     

     "To Galilee" Mk 16:7, a direction where I am going.  The Galilee of my life where I am risen from my nightmares and wickedness. The Galilee where I am risen from my addictions. The Galilee where my strength is aroused, where their is clarity of my purpose, where my direction is more refine and where the sense of compassion to others deepens.

    

     I pray that the Lord will lead me to people who will journey with me in the Galilee's of my life, where I get to be guided by bright lights in my path notwithstanding all my flaws of my past and my strengths combined.

     May you also walk with a Galilee experience with Him. Join me.  :)

Mhatteo

My Own Resurrection

Happy Easter! 

    Though i am away from home during the holy week. I was able to take time reflecting and observing it through the place i went surrounded by mountains and trees. It made me realized and thankful and greatly amazed how His resurrection takes place in me and how He actually died for my sins and resurrected for my living.

    You might think I am tremendously superficial but indeed, I have my own resurrection experience with the risen Christ in me. I experienced God's resurrection in so many ways:

     - Every time i confessed my sins, and asked forgiveness, i resurrected.

     - When depression came into my life last few months and someone shows         encouragement and hope to me, i resurrected.

     - When my approval addiction was killing me madly and i decided to detach myself away from my tendencies, i resurrected.

     - When tears fall down my eyes because of loneliness, and seeing smiles from a stranger or my pamangkin, i resurrected.

     - When my mind was bombarded by worries and anxieties and suddenly a soulful   music filled my heart with peace, i resurrected.

    - When i am about to give up because of habitual sins, then an honest sharing came in from a stranger or a friend that inspired me, i resurrected.

    - Every time i understand people and accept them, i resurrected.

    - When i start valuing myself and loving myself, i resurrected.

    - When am about to lose my finances, then unexpected financial blessing came in, i resurrected.

    - When i was able to help someone who needs help, i resurrected.

    - When i stop listening to gossips and trying to think good things about people, i resurrected.

    - When i treated people lovingly despite and in spite of hurts and disappointments, i resurrected.

    - When i sing beautiful songs or even songs i feel don't like singing but because i know it touches people and inspires them, i resurrected.

   - When fears blinded me from the truth, yet, i stepped up bravely for the truth, i resurrected.

   - Every time i hug my parents, i resurrected.

   - Every time i smile, i resurrected.

   - Every time i worked hard and work honestly for my living, i resurrected.

   - Every time i write good blogs, i resurrected.

   - And every time, i pray not just for me but for others and thank God for everything, i resurrected.

My experiences of resurrection might seem ordinary for some people, but regardless of what would others say, I am resurrected.  God has ways i could not imagine. He can make simple things into extraordinary miracles. I am glad i am now partaking not just in His sorrows but more in His resurrection. Slowly my old self dies, to bring about a new me, a resurrected me.

God is good!

Always,

Mhatteo

Two faces

     

I have two experiences of God being with me in my sufferings for the past months of my life. One part of me felt so abandoned, lonely, and troubled. I did not actually feel His presence in me. Because shame and guilt were so huge that time that hinders me from the truth and its a kind of anesthesia to my entire body. Making me numb of His presence and making me feel so alone. 

     The other part knew of God's presence over me. I totally knew that He cares so much  through the people that surrounds me. Those people who believes in me, who gives hope and creates small miracles inside my heart. It was in that moments of little miracles that i discovered the responsibility i am carrying for my own life. Acceptance came in as miracles filled with hope and trust, that God was not going to change the event of my life but He will actually use the event to help me grow through them.

     I realized that oftentimes i keep on focusing on my outside battle when the fact is, the battle is inside. I have two faces beneath inside me. And I need to focus on myself because what someone else has or doesn't have, is not going to affect me  because it is my situation inside that i want to improve better.

   I realized the moment you expose the truth in the light, slowly God will make things right... and He doesn't even mind them whether it is right or wrong.

Mhatteo