Two faces

     

I have two experiences of God being with me in my sufferings for the past months of my life. One part of me felt so abandoned, lonely, and troubled. I did not actually feel His presence in me. Because shame and guilt were so huge that time that hinders me from the truth and its a kind of anesthesia to my entire body. Making me numb of His presence and making me feel so alone. 

     The other part knew of God's presence over me. I totally knew that He cares so much  through the people that surrounds me. Those people who believes in me, who gives hope and creates small miracles inside my heart. It was in that moments of little miracles that i discovered the responsibility i am carrying for my own life. Acceptance came in as miracles filled with hope and trust, that God was not going to change the event of my life but He will actually use the event to help me grow through them.

     I realized that oftentimes i keep on focusing on my outside battle when the fact is, the battle is inside. I have two faces beneath inside me. And I need to focus on myself because what someone else has or doesn't have, is not going to affect me  because it is my situation inside that i want to improve better.

   I realized the moment you expose the truth in the light, slowly God will make things right... and He doesn't even mind them whether it is right or wrong.

Mhatteo