Plants vs. Zombies

I have something to confess, about two years ago, I was addicted with the game Plants vs. Zombies. And funny it is, I sometime woke up and grabbed my laptop even if I am too tired and sleepless just to play such horrific game, I even dreamt of it playing. Brains… brains…I want brains…

Now as I recalled about it, I can’t helped but really amazed how I was able to surpass that kind of addiction. It was truly such a silly game and yet, I love playing it. Nevertheless, the game taught me some lessons too, putting into the light of my spirituality, a realization that I too, is like a zombie.

You see, I walked like a walking dead. Physically, I am alive but spiritually, I am breathlessly struggling for a good life, for approval and love. And because I am afraid that I will run out of love and approval, I resorted with begging for others and trying to please them and win them even if it’s not right at all. There were times that I felt so rotten inside. Because I made wrong decisions; I am not living deliberately and wisely. And I succumbed to temptation and abused myself and others. All those things really made me a zombie. Lifeless. Purposeless.

My life doesn’t end that way because plants were there to rescue me. I believed they were my friends, good or bad, helping me in my journey. I thought they were there to put me down because they tend to beat me and even hurt me. I learned that the Lord allowed me to experience them, to be beaten by their weapons, being hurt or even to die from my zombiesness in order to shake me and to reborn me and renew me into the kind of person God wanted me to be.

I appreciate life now in this very moment, I have nothing to boast of now, nothing to hold on but God, But even though in my journey, I felt alone and sometime loneliness tends to bring me into desperation. I learned to cling on to One whose love truly endures, whose promises never fails and whose compassion exceeded beyond human understanding. I learned to listen and to love with what am uniquely me of whom and what I am.

It is a lonely road for me walking along a crooked road haunted by my past, but, my loneliness does helped me to lean on to One who never let me go. I know God will send me someone who will journey with me in the toughest and in the calmest moments of this road less travel. A road where I get to meet some plants who are not just include some of  my true friends but also some insignificant individuals who will challenge me reminding me of my past and beat me so I will grow and learn to embrace life’s purpose.

"In His triumph, He brings me. I can hold my head high. God is good."

Mhatteo