Plants vs. Zombies

I have something to confess, about two years ago, I was addicted with the game Plants vs. Zombies. And funny it is, I sometime woke up and grabbed my laptop even if I am too tired and sleepless just to play such horrific game, I even dreamt of it playing. Brains… brains…I want brains…

Now as I recalled about it, I can’t helped but really amazed how I was able to surpass that kind of addiction. It was truly such a silly game and yet, I love playing it. Nevertheless, the game taught me some lessons too, putting into the light of my spirituality, a realization that I too, is like a zombie.

You see, I walked like a walking dead. Physically, I am alive but spiritually, I am breathlessly struggling for a good life, for approval and love. And because I am afraid that I will run out of love and approval, I resorted with begging for others and trying to please them and win them even if it’s not right at all. There were times that I felt so rotten inside. Because I made wrong decisions; I am not living deliberately and wisely. And I succumbed to temptation and abused myself and others. All those things really made me a zombie. Lifeless. Purposeless.

My life doesn’t end that way because plants were there to rescue me. I believed they were my friends, good or bad, helping me in my journey. I thought they were there to put me down because they tend to beat me and even hurt me. I learned that the Lord allowed me to experience them, to be beaten by their weapons, being hurt or even to die from my zombiesness in order to shake me and to reborn me and renew me into the kind of person God wanted me to be.

I appreciate life now in this very moment, I have nothing to boast of now, nothing to hold on but God, But even though in my journey, I felt alone and sometime loneliness tends to bring me into desperation. I learned to cling on to One whose love truly endures, whose promises never fails and whose compassion exceeded beyond human understanding. I learned to listen and to love with what am uniquely me of whom and what I am.

It is a lonely road for me walking along a crooked road haunted by my past, but, my loneliness does helped me to lean on to One who never let me go. I know God will send me someone who will journey with me in the toughest and in the calmest moments of this road less travel. A road where I get to meet some plants who are not just include some of  my true friends but also some insignificant individuals who will challenge me reminding me of my past and beat me so I will grow and learn to embrace life’s purpose.

"In His triumph, He brings me. I can hold my head high. God is good."

Mhatteo

Three Hypocrites

...there are three kinds of hypocrites nowadays, one those that doesn't know that they are and so they love judging others and treat themselves righteous. The other one knows that he is one but he doesn't care knowing about it. The third one is phenomenal, he knows and acknowledges his hypocrisy and he tries to live the way of Christ in light and truth...

    I have to confess that in one time of my life, i was in that first kind of hypocrisy. I love judging others, gossiping about their sins and looking at them with disgust. Not knowing that i, too, is disgusting. My friend, it wasn't right for me to do those things.

    After realizing it, i transcends to the second kind of hypocrisy, i know that  i am hypocrite, yet, i did not care about. I don't judge people of who they are, as a matter of fact, i just really don't care of them, i neglected the very truth that i am. Hypocrite. I disguised my hypocrisy through service and Perhaps, i have lived for almost ten years of being that way. Disguising my hypocrisy by being righteous doing nothing of all my negative tendencies.

    I believe, in those moments, there is something in me that transcends. A call that created disturbances in the depth of my heart. The Lord shaken me through an event I prayed for. It was actually an answered prayer. It scratches and scratches until hurts came in, realizing that i have to wake up from that disillusionment. I believe I am now on the third level, and true enough i do acknowledged my hypocrisy now. It is something that i don't boast off but something i need to deal with and tame. It is by the grace of God that I am still here keeping on and trying to discover better things within me. Yes, I am a man, human and a sinner just as any other man. I believe even if i have tendencies to commit sin, it is not my first call at all to avoid them. Because My first duty as a christian is to love. To love God and others as i love myself.
 
I am in a community of hypocrites who struggles to live a life to be meaningful.  And in that way, I experienced Christ. Be touched by His love, and be healed by His compassion.

For He always make things new in me.



Mhatteo

Black Bug a.k.a. Piangao ( Pi-ya-ngaw)

http://youtu.be/AJfRQ57quSs

Did you know that Scotinophara coarctata is the scientific name of black bug? Hehehe… These little creatures are affected by the lunar cycle, and during full moon nights; a large numbers of adults swam to light sources causing disturbances to an innocent man like me. Gulp…hehehe

 Recently, I had a close encounter with them and actually in a second time around. I attended a prayer meeting in Digos, and after that I had a dinner with the Mission Team and a fellowship at some famous restaurant just around the venue. This seemingly tiny creature was not quite visible at one time. We really had fun talking, chatting and laughing and suddenly, the unnoticeable little creature becomes so visible that I was terrified by its atomic radio active smell. Wooh…perhaps millions of piangao as they called it, burst into chaos and rage. I was really cautious about what I am eating  co’z we don’t know what if a suicidal piangao would dive into and be part of the meal. Wah… I wonder what would it taste be? Hehehe…

Honestly, Black Bug smells awful!!! Funny it is, I have a bit of realization after all, I realized that I am no less like a black bug in some way, I sometimes wanted to break free and just fly around during full moon exploring the world without limitations. I ate, drunk, making myself as if busy and do things beyond morality. And I attracted other black bugs to join with me and unknowingly, we become trapped in false light sources. Pride, arrogance, lust, greed, jealousy and a lot more drew us closer to the false lights.

I then, smell appalling, We smell appalling. Albeit I am like that, I am being accepted by a Supreme Being. He loves my stink. He encourages me to dwell into the true light and He catches me and put me into His hand.

I believe, knowing all that facts. I am a saved Piangao after all…

Mhatteo

Mc Flurry

I went out after a meeting, much drained and quite hungry. The first thing that was in my mind was to buy Mc Flurry, a delicious and creamy ice cream mixed with chocolate Cream-O from Mc Donald’s. My mind was really shouting, MC FLURRY! MC FLURRY! MC FLURRY!( I’m just exaggerating, not quite true, sort of). He he he…

Anyway, I bet all of us do really like Mc Flurry because it’s like ice cream. But for me, there is something in Mc Flurry that made me said that night “Wow, What a good thing”

It happened after I went out in our office and bought Mc Flurry in Ilustre and tasted quite of its delectable and energizing flavor. Then, I decided to walk from Mc Donald-Ilustre to our home simply to save another seven pesos.

Passing different streets of downtown area and gazing the Rizal Prominade and even the stars in the sky was totally invigorating. I felt what a wonderful world it is having with me my favorite Mc flurry. Indeed, it was a moment of rewarding one’s desire for gratitude from unevenness stomach almost falling into the grip of starvation.

Then suddenly, a street boy disrupted my momentous experience. He wanted to have my Mc Flurry. (What a harassment? What a challenge? Hello? What are you doing?) Well, I did not say that to him. In fact, I made no utterance. I just gave it to him the quite full and virgin Mc Flurry, with no words.

I went home quite unsatisfied about eating Mc Flurry. But I realized that there’s a reason why it happened. I believe, the event taught me to be much like Mc Flurry at all. Mc flurry, I believe, is a good food. And I am good. But Mc flurry cannot be known to be a good and likeable food if it is not being tasted or shared to anyone. I mean, we are all good people but we are to take the test to do good and not just being good.

As I pondered with what had happened, I did the right thing. My tummy was really quite empty as I arrived home. But my heart was filled with gratitude. That does really matter.

Mhatteo

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