Broken Window

I usually walk as i go home in my parents place and I passes by a white house with broken window. Its creepy and i remembered when i was a child we always believe that  the house is haunted and monsters are staying in that place. We don't go and play nearer the white house afraid that a ghost would come out and would terrify us. Until now, the house look so gloom and unmaintained. Broken and unloved. Abandoned. No one wants to stay there and As time goes by more broken windows were visible and more people were afraid to stay or to be near in that place.

As i contemplate in this experience, i realized no matter how beautiful and wonderful you are, we always have broken window inside . Little broken windows like lies, pride, addictions, lust, and impure thoughts were widespread within my heart especially at this moment of time. And though they were small, they grew bigger and bigger as am not addressing them. They terrified me most of the time and even others were terrified about my own monsters.

I believe, in one way or another, You too have broken windows. Whether you like  it or not, you need to acknowledge their brokenness. For their brokenness are your brokenness too. Broken windows that are not given attentions will reap horror and fears within. For the past years of my life, i am grateful that i was able to face some of my broken windows. Some people were terrified knowing about it but it doesn't matter any longer. Because i am fixing them anyway ...with Jesus as my Repairman.

And God whispered a word for me today , and he said... "Your future is beautiful." " I can fix your broken windows.


Mhatteo Google ping

Constant Change

When i was quite a little boy, i used to climb fences and trees and my parents scolded me and even spanked me for that. I was that boy who dreamt to risk life for adventure. To risk life for conquering the unknown and My parents were then my contra-bida shutting off all my wide imaginations.

I know the reasons why there doing that for me now, that in times i was too high in following that little bird flying in the trees or that grasshopper hopping from one fence to the other, i put myself at risk. And they loved me enough to scold, to spank or to remind me through tough love that " hey you're going too far." wake up!  Be careful!

Now, i missed those times , as i looked back on some of my little sentiments as a boy, i just smiled knowing that it was a silly disposition. My parents now are old, and day by day, i believe time has really passed by to them. I was busy growing up and sometime i forgot that they're growing old too. Yet, the way they treat me. The way they love me, is surprisingly and utterly wonderful. That is why i take the time to hug them as much as i can everyday during breakfast and its a healing  feeling their hugs and seeing their smiles too.

I believe though somethings does changed now in different areas of my life but...somethings doesn't really change at all, especially if its deeply rooted inside ones heart.  Love.

God's love is ever constant and does endures forever.

Mhatteo Google ping

Making problems small

Honestly, i am now at panicked with my future. I fear a lot.  I get into depression and though i acknowledged it but it seems hard to renounce. I noticed i focused on the negative things, and now I am almost blown up. I just can't hold my temper in control. My work is affected and i am lonely.

Just as those moments sunk in to almost highest degree of tribulation, words came into my mind as if God was telling me..." make your problems small. Those irritations, those conflicts, those criticisms, and those obstacles... Make them small."

Surprise about those words, tears run down and clear my mind. Indeed there so many things i am thankful for. So many. Countless. Because Life is beautiful.


Mhatteo

Best Time

            Quite sometimes now, I’ve been thinking about when will be the time that I would truly know what I really wanted in life. With so many preoccupations in mind, I bet my wits would blast or explode terribly into nothingness and my restlessness would dilute me and leave me terrible in dangerous situation. Nevertheless, I know time will give space for answers. I know time will demand itself for action. I know time will help me reach what I am journeying of as I decipher puzzles that were wrapped in my life’s mystery.

            “One step at a time”, truly, is a good and comforting statement, for a man who wanted in his hunt, an instant glory and achievement, for a man who desires to chase time and career, for a man who search for a lifetime partner to be with for the rest of his life and for a man whose courage and love are bind with responsibilities so much for himself but not for others. One step at a time… I should better contemplate this in my mind.

            I realized that what is truly noble in this world is the attitude of waiting. Patience. I have been chasing time now, afraid that it would leave me, yet I realized that what I am chasing of is my own selfish desires and plans for immediate but temporary fulfillment. I am chasing my career, my knowledge, and my potentials and even love because I am afraid of losing it. 

And then, my heart says,"wait.... Take a look… Stop…and close your eyes. Let go Mhatti...your best time is yet to come. Be patient…"

            Realizing it… It was God talking to me…Whispering this simple word…

          "  Patience…

              Patience…

              Patience…"

           

Mhatteo

The Cross

I want to know how God feels about me today. Every time i snap at anything that moves, every time my thoughts are gutter-level, and when my tongue is sharp enough to slice a rock and every time i tell lies.  How does God feels when i am a jerk? Not about when i am positive and ready to tackle worlds hunger, worlds peace, and worlds climate change. Hmmm. Shamcey Supsup can tackle it more than i could imagine. But how does He feel about me then?

I don't even know about it.  I don't know how long Gods love endures. But i just want to know it deeply.
As i wonder about it, i am indeed purely insane. Why on earth i questioned this things? Can anything make God stop loving me? Nothing.

I find the answer on the splintered cross, where He was nail-stabbed and bleeding. There His dying for my death. There He resurrected for my living. There i saw true love. His great love. That's what i really wanted to know. I am convince His love endures forever. And nothing can change His love for me. Absolutely nothing.

Whenever i look at the cross, i remembered the difficulties i had and sometimes i ask myself how i was and am able to stand and go through them. The Cross gave me an answer. My sufferings, challenges,and even death or sickness are not my destiny. Its in fact my keys to life, love and salvation.

Mhatteo

Detachment

How far can i go with God?

 This is the question i set in my mind today. I do confess that i have many attachments, and in fact, i am afraid of losing them.   I do not deny that My heart desire so much of them. I am craving and holding them tightly. Letting go would be very hard to do.  And in many cases. I failed to recognize the significance of it. Even my habitual sins are truly hard to let go. My flesh longs for it madly. Though my heart says "do what is good , and yet i end up doing wrong". Very frustrating and Humiliating. Putting myself in disgrace to God and my friends.

 Yet amidst this struggles, i am captivated by this simple truth: " that in my darkest hour, God is in His darkest too. That In my deepest sorrow, He do share, and in my brokenness, He was there..." Now, i know that better things do happen when we started letting go. God doesn't allow it to come quickly. He like it slowly, gently and really hurting. I like the last part...hurting. Why? Because it truly hurts when you know the truth. And that's the hardest thing to let go.

 Even now as i am writing this, there are many things that are still at my grasp. One by one, i am letting go of them. Some Friends, possessions, habitual sins, pride, worries, insecurities and positions, and many more. I am starting to let go them daily.  Maybe that's what God wants me to do everyday, to let go them one by one, everyday. Consistently. No postpone. No cancellation. Willfully done. "For to set the mind on the Spirit will lead me to more life and peace."

Mhatteo

Anti Virus

Want to share with you my journal some years ago. May you be inspired as you read this. God bless

Warning!!!

You will be infected with virus if you persist not reading my blogs.

Better read or else…

            Lately, I have encountered problems with regards to my computer. The task bar always warned that a lot of potential spy wares were spying my computer system. Truly, I was quite bothered about it and that made me busy finding ways how to remove all those spy wares. I don’t know why my recent Anti-Virus or Firewall had not detected those things. Perhaps, viruses or spy wares are unpredictable and stronger nowadays or may be I am reckless and very confident that my computer is updated and hi-tech but I am wrong; my juvenile credence led me to odds of nuisances provoked by fear of losing information that were stored in my computer. I got terrified in that belief and it prompted me to install another anti-virus. Thanks to the free trial of AVG in the internet that helped removed all those spy wares and viruses if there’s any. Wooh… AVG soothed my agony.

            Realizing those experiences, I believe, we are all susceptible to many spiritual viruses or spy wares. I believe these are things or people that lead us away from the truth of life, from what is right and from what we supposed to do. I too, was dragged by those bogus people with selfish desires. Bogus people are fun of spying, very judgmental, gossiping against other people’s lives and have no sense of truth and understanding. Honestly, for once and sometimes, I become like them. It’s totally ruining and lifeless.

            Thank God I have my backed up, some good friends of my community really helped me a lot in detecting my potential spiritual viruses. It made me realized just like my computer, I have to undergo free trial from AVG, to scan the very detail of my heart and to remove all my spiritual viruses and spy wares that long been laden there. In short, I should reformat my desires and plans in life.

            Still up to now, my new AVG have been scanning my heart looking for a better spot where it will be installed. I know with AVG (Anti-Virus from God)…Surely…

I can start anew.

Mhatteo

Yonex ( You- Next)

I remembered a personal experience about my Yonex. And i want to share it with you that in one way or another, it will inspire you.

Last June 3,2007 I bought a badminton racket that cost me quite an amount that I could boast off. Its brand is Yonex. It’s really weightless and good-looking compared to my ever dedicated obsolescent and unbranded badminton racket I bought for P200. (In fairness, I won 1st prize using it one time during a tournament being my partner, the Controller of a prestigious company, O diba astig!!!) For the past two years, I have been using my old racket in our office badminton tournament. And now, I’m leaving it. Yeah, what an improvement! Yes I’ve got my new and lighter racket that would help me to the road of fame.Last June 21,2007 I broke it. It was not even smashed on the floor. I remembered I just waved my hand and boom…toink…my racket fate had gone only this far. I was playing with my boss that time and honestly, I am quite embarrassed about it. It was something that should not be happening to a professional player like me. Hehehe. It’s not worth it…

As I pondered on the momentous event during my prayer time, I realized that God was not pleased with my arrogance and even with my plans(the road of fame). I believed he wanted me to go to the basic where life meets both ends. He wanted me to do something after that “ what’s next matti?,you next, I have done a lot for you… what’s next? Are you going to be boastful or humble? What does really matter now for you?”

Yeah, I believe I have quite sometime lost my track. What had happened taught me to stop and think. What does really matter now for me?

Many times I am being dismantled,broken, and even smashed by events brought about by my pursuit. Was it worth it? It was worth it. Wrong moves, wrong choices and wrong perception caused alot of tension. Perhaps, that’s the reason why my yonex was broken. Why oftentimes I am shattered…But the good news is, there is plenty of time to change. God is waiting for us to change for good. I bet my yonex will be refunded or be replaced in due time. Hmmm… that’s pretty good…cool…I can’t wait for that time. But for now, I am back to the basic.